Things I learned during my first 6 weeks of fatherhood

Cordelia Zorana turns 6 weeks old tomorrow, which is not some special number other than it's a number greater than 5 that is a multiple of 1, 2, and 3. It's also the first perfect number (h/t Ian). Natalija and I lucked out in many respects. Cordelia is perfectly healthy, not-too-fussy, and is already sleeping through the night - assuming, that is, she goes to sleep at the end of the evening.

That said, babies have no user manual, and this fact makes for some amusing learning experiences, mainly because they involve bodily fluids and solids.

1. Babies use lots of diapers. They are amazing if only for the sheer volume of poop and pee they produce relative to their body size.
2. There are few biological functions more awe-inspiring than a "meconium explosion."
   
3. Never turn your back on an undiapered baby. They will use this opportunity to finish draining their bladder.
   
4. A bath towel swaddling a baby waiting for a bath is not a substitute for a diaper. Avoid wearing nice clothes.
   
5. Never turn your back on an undiapered baby. They will use this opportunity to finish emptying their bowel.
   
6. You will be peed on.
7. You will be pooped on.
8. You will be puked on.
9. The set of 6,7,8 is a power set. That is you may be peed on, you may be peed and pooped on, you may be peed and puked on, you may get the trifecta, etc.
10. Nine times out of 10, the diaper will be wet when you stick a finger in to check. That 1 time out of 10 will teach you to peer down the backside first.
11. Drool is part of the game. All those old t-shirts you failed to get rid of now have a new purpose.
12. Baby heads are floppy. Fortunately, they're also bouncy, but don't press your luck.
13. Mirrors fascinate the hell out of babies.